Post #15B Learning Disabilities What?

Post # 15B What?

Yasik was four and a half when he entered the English-speaking world.  He tried at first to hold on to Russian but, probably at first reluctantly, later in frustration, he gave up and started to work with English. Forest Gump was his go-to mentor.

I have journal entries of some of Yasik’s early language, cute words and incomplete or even wrong phrases. ‘Telephone’ came out first as ‘Sillyphone’ and ‘tuddle’ for ‘puddle’.  Forest Gump was first ‘Forest Gunk’. It was ‘mockbark’ for ‘bookmark’. Did he flirt with copyright infringement with his rendition of the ABC song, singing ‘eno, meno, p and now I say my ABC’?  When Yasik had to give in on some challenge to our authority, it was ‘No look’.

Were these the first signs of a learning disability or the first forays into language learning as the lone Russian in a new world? Or some mix of ‘set and setting’, nature and nurture for this child?

These are the questions this set of posts considers.

Cavet: In seeking to understand our personal experiences with learning disabilities I am attempting to interpret research; I am reaching into knowledge I have little preparation for. I found a warning in this sentence, “The moment you start to arrange the world in words, you alter its nature[i].  Warning taken.

In Who?,  I provided an outline of Yasik’s slide from happy confidence to determination never to put himself in a place of learning again.   To make the point of the power of external pressure dictating an expectation to read, Naomi Fisher wants us to recognize, however improbable it may sound to our minds, that when anyone is living in an environment where no one reads, not being able to read is not a problem[ii].  Entering a world full of the expectation to read, our son was swamped.

What? looks at what may have overwhelmed Yasik.

I start with the current terms for the “spectrum of experiences[iii] outside a standard understanding of ‘normal’, yet given the title of Roy Grinker’s book, Nobody’s Normal: How Culture Created the Stigma of Mental Illness, [iv] likely few can unquestionably place themselves within the parameters of ‘normal’. This ‘normal’ may be as facile as “some sort of mental benchmark or yardstick in our head.”[v]

But…, if there is a place for a ‘normal’ standard it may be the ‘Simple View of Reading’ (SVR) which says that “good reading comprehension requires two broad types of abilities: good word recognition skills and good oral language comprehension”.[vi]  Grok adds this: It’s often formalized as a multiplicative model: Comprehension = Decoding × Comprehension (meaning if either is weak or zero, overall comprehension suffers).

When readers see language symbols on a page, they can read and understand them.

But not everyone can read and understand what they have read.

Struggling to recognize the letters, words, phrases, and sentences on a page is a frustrating aspect of the experience of those outside the SVR standard. Starting from the outer edges of the lexicon built for the struggle to read, I move to the specific terms associated.

Neurodiversity: a biological fact, not a perspective, an approach, a belief, a political position, or a paradigm, not a trait that any individual possesses or can possess”. But rather, “a person whose neurocognitive functioning diverges from dominant societal norms. Thus, neurodivergence is not intrinsically positive or negative, desirable or undesirable”.[vii]

Naomi Fischer writes this: “Neurodiversity is the idea that some children and adults have naturally different brains, and these differences should not be thought of as a disorder. This is sometimes talked about as ‘differently wired’ or a ‘peculiar neurology’. Neurodiversity includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, sensory processing disorder and more.

Neurodiversity is an anti-stigma movement and it comes from the social model of disability. This sees disability as a product of the inaccessible world, rather than something which is located in a person. For example, if a person cannot walk, the degree of their disability is determined by the world around them.  

The principle in neurodiversity is that some people should be recognized as different (not disordered) and accommodations are made in order to reduce their level of disability.

[However] … in many cases it divides people into distinct groups: the neurodiverse, and the neurotypical. … It assumes there are some people who are qualitatively different to everyone else and this is because of a discernible difference in their brains. It rejects the term ‘disordered’ but replaces it with ‘difference’. There is no evidence for this. All of the behaviours which make a person neurodiverse vary on a continuum, not categorically. It’s not at all clear where the line between typical and diverse should be drawn. Neurodiversity runs through the whole population, not only a subset.

A problem with the neurodiversity framework is that it can encourage us to think that problems are fixed. …This isn’t based on evidence. We simply don’t know what will happen to many of the children who are currently being diagnosed with development disorders”.[viii]

Sally Shaywitz, seems to agree for wanting to distinguish learning disabilities from dyslexia she writes: “Learning disabilities is a general term referring to a range of difficulties which have not yet been delineated or scientifically validated”.[ix]

Yet, moving to the heart of this lexicon: SLD, (Specific Learning Disorder), according to the DSM-5, refers to neurodevelopmental impairment that remains persistent (lifelong) in reading, mathematics, and written expression but is not related to intelligence nor laziness.

When comedian Phil Hanley’s learning disability became apparent in school, he wrote “I tried to pray away my disability[x] but over the course of his memoir we see that he makes peace with its persistence.

According to Google, “The official Canadian definition of a Learning Disability (LD) describes them as neurological disorders affecting information processing (acquisition, organization, retention, understanding, use) in individuals with average or higher intelligence, distinct from intellectual disabilities, impacting areas like language, reading, writing, and math due to underlying processing issues (memory, attention, executive functions) … LDs are specific, not global, impairments”. 

Other and more common terms for SLD are ‘learning disorder’, ‘learning disability’ or ‘learning difference’ (LD).  Another term: ‘Low-achievement’ (LA) is defined as “at-risk for academic failure”, “with and without learning disabilities and with or without specific cognitive deficits”.[xi]

Areas of communication that may be affected are word reading accuracy, spelling, grammar, or calculation as well as fluency and comprehension in degrees from mild (affecting only some academic areas) to severe (needing support and or accommodation). Intellectual disability, vision or hearing problems, a neurological condition, adverse conditions such as economic or environmental disadvantage, lack of instruction, or difficulties speaking/understanding the language, emotional disturbances or lack of educational or cultural opportunity are outside the LD criterion[xii].

Time and again, two words are found in the LD definitions. Given a person’s otherwise normal capabilities, difficulty in certain areas are “unexpected” and “specific” deficits, a ‘deficit’ being “observable impairments in function relative to age peers”.[xiii]

Types of Learning Disabilities 

Once again I begin with (admittedly a rearrangement) of Grok’s tidy overview providing the list of types of learning disabilities with the DSM-5 as reference.  And heads up: a person can have more than one of the following issues.

Dyscalculia: Mathematics indicated by trouble understanding numbers, memorizing math facts, grasping time/money concepts.[xiv]

Other terms used are ‘math learning disorder’, ‘math learning disability’ and ‘math disorder’.

Dyscalculia is “a deficit in basic numerical concepts and basic computational skills” that persists. “Mathematical competence is strongly influenced by language skills, visuospatial skills, and memory”, but again “not caused by intellectual disability”. [xv]

Dysgraphia: Written expression indicated by poor handwriting, trouble organizing thoughts on paper, spelling issues.[xvi]

Dyspraxia: (sometimes included) Fine/gross motor coordination indicated by difficulty with handwriting, tying shoes, sports, sequencing movements.

Auditory Processing Disorder: Processing sounds indicated by trouble distinguishing similar sounds, following verbal instructions.

Visual Processing Disorder: Interpreting visual information indicated by difficulty with reading maps, recognizing shapes, spatial organization.

Nonverbal Learning Disability: Visual-spatial, social skills indicated by strong verbal skills but poor motor, visual-spatial, and social abilities.

Executive Functioning Deficits: (not a standalone DSM-5 learning disorder but frequently co-occurs) Indicated by challenges with planning, organization, time management, working memory and self-regulation.

This seems a long and comprehensive list and yet I have come across other labels as well. Whether this makes the list complete or not, I am not sure anymore, but here are the others I have found.

Specific Reading Comprehension Disabilities(S-RCD): Difficulties in language comprehension which are the “opposite pattern to dyslexia”.  These people have “phonological and word recognition skills”.[xvii]

Google says there may be brain-based differences and a genetic component involved with S-RCD.

Mixed Reading Disabilities: Indicated by problems with “both word recognition and language comprehension because of weaknesses in vocabulary or other language areas that also affect their reading comprehension”.[xviii]

Language-based Learning Disabilities/Developmental Language Disorder (DLD): Indicated by difficulty acquiring and using spoken and/or written language despite normal intelligence and hearing.  Like dyslexia this disorder is “unexpected” but the phonological deficits are more severe…. These children may have language deficits across multiple dimensions of language-phonology, morphology, syntax, vocabulary, and pragmatics-but operational definitions often require deficits in more than one language domain”.[xix]

I’ve saved the most well-known disorder for last.

Dyslexia: Reading and language processing indicated by difficulty decoding words, poor spelling, slow reading, trouble with phonological awareness.

Sally Shaywitz and her son Jonathan Shaywitz defined Dyslexia most clearly and thoroughly for me.

Dyslexia is sometimes regarded as “a hidden disability, but dyslexia is hidden only to those who do not have to live with it and suffer its effects”.

“Dyslexia is ’dimensional’ rather than ‘categorical’ – occurring along a continuum/gradations. It can’t be conveniently boxed and labelled”.

“Dyslexia is very specific and scientifically validated” having been found to be “linguistic, residing in phonology”.… “the functional part of the brain where the sounds of language are put together to form words and where words are broken down back into these elemental soundsof languageDyslexia involves a weakness within [this] language system. At various times in the Shaywitz writings I have read, they call this ‘weakness’ a ‘glitch’; I understand what I need to with that one word.

“…. As a consequence, such children when speaking may have a hard time selecting the appropriate phoneme and may instead retrieve a phoneme that is similar in sound. Unless the reader-to-be can convert the printed characters on the page into the phonetic code, these letters remain just a bunch of lines and circles totally devoid of linguistic meaning… [leading to] unexpected underachievementunexpectedly low [reading skill] in relation to his or her intelligence”.

We were surprised at Yasik’s difficulties when he went to school for we saw him as very quick.

Such a ‘weakness in the language system’ leads to problems in “attaching letters in a word to the sounds they represent, decoding/reading difficulties, impacting both accuracy and fluency, encoding difficulties, that is transforming sound into letters, impacting spelling, learning the sound system of a foreign language… but slow reading does not imply slow thinking. Nor does it necessarily impede imagination and “grasping the big picture”.

“Dyslexics have a reading impairment, not a thinking impairment”.

Sally and Jonathan Shaywitz also want their readers to know “Dyslexia is pain. It represents a major assault on self-esteem”.[xx]

I appreciate how Phil Hanley illustrates this pain.

“When I was a kid, I was desperate for people to see me as anything but a special ed student. I tried to conceal my dyslexia from the world the way one hides a hickey from their parents at the breakfast table. I attempted to use my appearance to distract from my learning difference.  So, when I developed a love for Bob Marley at age eleven, I decided to grow dreadlocks.  They would be the perfect smokescreen. When a white person has dreads, no one wonders what else is wrong with them”.

As an adult Phil Hanley met someone who was modeling but was also trained as a lawyer. Hanley couldn’t imagine anyone modeling if he or she could read. He’d chosen modeling only because he believed that any career involving reading was out for him. Hanley was writing of the years he was a model but ashamed to let his hometown friends know what he was doing to make money.  “Why did I still hide my career?  Why had shame followed me cross the Atlantic? My shame stemmed from a lifetime of embarrassing moments caused by dyslexia. I was embarrassed that I was the only one who got a zero on spelling test. Embarrassed that I was constantly being taken out of class and forced to go to the Learning Resource Center. Embarrassed that I needed more time to finish tests. Embarrassed that even with all these allowances, I still ended up in special ed.

Embarrassment is fleeting; it surfaces, then fades. Shame is enduring; it stays with you like a criminal record or the theme of the television show Muppet Babies”.

He saw himself as “the world’s slowest learner. I still struggle with concepts taught in first grade”, a ‘major assault on his self-esteem’.[xxi]

Yet Hanley is now a renowned comedian and writer, turning his struggles into a successful, creative career. That is the surprising ‘unexpected’ part of Dyslexia for while the reading impairment is evident, there is so often this other aspect of people with Dyslexia, creativity. A quick Google provides a list of successful dyslexia creatives.

There is evidence that adults with dyslexia may be among the most creative and successful of their generation.  How can this be explained in the light of cerebellar impairment, which apparently causes significant difficulties with acquisition of skills, and with linguistic skill? We believe that the resolution of this paradox lies in the problematic but undoubtedly real distinction between declarative and procedural knowledge, between explicit and implicit knowledge, and between explicit and implicit learning…. The cerebellar impairment hypothesis suggest that dyslectic children will have difficulties specifically with the procedural learning mediated by the cerebellum. There is no reason to expect difficulties in explicit learning and reasoning, which are mediated through the hippocampus and the temporal and frontal lobes… Reasoning ability does not depend fundamentally on fluency. …analytic, creative and practical [learning] … [depend] directly on skill or fluency”…[xxii]

The DSM-5 “has adapted their terminology by removing dyslexia and replacing it with “Specific Learning Disorder with impairment in reading, written expression, or mathematics”

(to allow for) wider breadth of learning variables and alludes to the variety of impact that this alternate wiring in the brain may cause”.[xxiii]

 Other Considerations

Like Sally and Jonathan Shaywitz say above, “Dyslexia is very specific and scientifically validated”.  There are criteria that must be part of the equation and criteria that definitely are not part of the equation for Dyslexia. But that doesn’t mean that other conditions expressed by someone with a learning disability can be dismissed. Perhaps these other expressions of difficulty may actually be what the person is struggling with rather than one of the above types of disability.

Naomi Fischer tells the story of a child who was recommended for various tests by his school and other professionals for why he was acting out. This child wasn’t abused or neglected but had a difficult school year due to a physical injury and his parents’ divorce. “His basic psychological needs weren’t being met”, so he turned to inappropriate methods to deal with his distressLining him up with a label was missing the cause of the child’s difficulties in school. The child simply needed some time and support to navigate his distress.[xxiv]

Like we have noticed all along, ‘the science is settled’ is an oxymoron.

And then there is dialing back from a specific glitch to what genetics have to do with learning struggles. Temple Grandin sees it this way: “Genetics determines whether it’s a four-lane highway or a single-lane road. In my own case, a detailed MRI showed that I had narrower “streets” for speaking, which would have been determined by genetic factors”. She adds: “But it was the environment (intensive speech therapy) that would determine whether I could learn to speak, the increased use slightly widening those narrow roads”.[xxv]

Sally and Jonathan Shaywitz have something to say about genetics as well. This comment may be addressing a study out of the University of BC that sought to confirm that there was a gene “associated with dyslexia or other reading problems”.[xxvi]

To this study, the two Shaywitz say, “… the initial hope that dyslexia would be explained by one gene or just a few genes has not been fulfilled. …for though an individual’s genetic makeup contributes to the risk of having dyslexia, other factors, such as the environment (including family, community, school, and health) likely play a major role as well.

…there is no one-to-one mapping between a single gene and a specific neural circuit. …dyslexia is best explained by multiple genes, each contributing a small amount toward the expression of dyslexia”.  To which they add,” genetic influence is complex though it sometimes runs in families”.[xxvii]

Two physical conditions parents might more easily take care of than those teeny, weeny genes, are the child’s eyesight and hearing. As well, if the child had a deprived start to life, not receiving sufficient protein in the first years as the brain grows, there may have been a negative impact on the development of the child’s brain.  Here though all may not be lost. Naomi Fisher notes that even many severely deprived Romanian orphans managed to catch up once they were placed in loving adoptive homes.[xxviii] 

The role of the school system in a child’s struggle with learning will be dealt with more fully in the How section, but gets a nod here as another influence. Perhaps the school, with its own agenda, is simply not delivering what the child needs at that stage in his or her learning.[xxix]

I think it is safe to say that the condition that gets the most attention outside the specific disabilities would be the interference of emotional issues on a child’s learning. “…toxic stress bleeds through. … It poisons children, weakening their immune systems and adversely affecting their emotional, physical, and intellectual development”.[xxx]

This toxic stress may come from the child’s lived experiences, getting misdiagnosed as having a learning disability or may come as a companion piece to the difficulties negotiating life with a persistent learning disability.

“Lived experiences” may be as seemingly innocuous as changing schools or as devastating as many of the types of abuse that do not cease to shock people whether experienced while yet in the womb or in infancy and childhood. Yes we know that many children weather neglect and lack of nurture and yet grow into strong adults but it can’t be ignored that “emotional neglect can actually change the way the neural pathways of the brain are networked…”[xxxi] as well as diverting thinking space to the hamster wheel of anxiety.

One of the first things Yasik told us about the Orton Gillingham school we enrolled him in was that the teachers repeated instructions, giving his tense brain time to hear and understand.

Nathan Lau and Moriah Sokolowski offer two theories regarding the anxiety experienced by some children in an academic setting: “The reduced competency theory suggests that early struggles with mathematics lead to anxiety about it … and the processing efficiency theory, on the other hand, suggests that math anxiety directly impairs performance by disrupting cognitive resources. Research shows that math anxiety affects essential executive functions like working memory, inhibition and mental flexibility – capacities that are critical for recalling facts, performing calculations, and solving word problems”.[xxxii]

I think that while using different terms, social psychology researcher, Carol Dweck, is saying about the same thing.

“…the way children think about their abilities or intelligence (implicit assumptions or “self-theories”) can dictate to what extent they are able to overcome fears of failing and triumph through academic difficulties or other cognitive tasks.

Children who believe that intelligence and ability are malleable or flexible (able to change and grow) have far greater success in their lives…

Children with a fixed orientation tend to believe that people’s intelligence or ability is limited to what they are born with, for example, believing they are “not good at math”. This fixed mindset lends itself to giving up when encountering difficulties. Failure is perceived as a weakness or indicator that the task is above the individual’s abilities, whereas a child with a flexible mindset sees failure as a challenge to keep trying and perceives mistakes as a part of the learning process”.[xxxiii]

Martin Seligman is often associated with the term, ‘learned helplessness’, which he defines as “the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter”. [xxxiv]

Ed Latimore, from his personal experience as well as study, adds this observation: “It doesn’t matter which mindset is a more accurate representation of reality. The only thing that matters is which one you believe to be true, because that belief will affect your approach to life’s challenges”.[xxxv]

And then there is that piece specific to our son and ourselves, adoption.

Before I bring forward the usual culprits in the adoption slice of the pie, allow me to tuck in some ‘a bit out there’ suggestions. You know if Hitler had won the war, he wanted to enforce a rule that Slavic children only be taught to count to 100 (May 1940 memo from Heinrich Himmler). Maybe that is why Yasik couldn’t imagine anyone could be expected to count to 60…. And then there is Oblomovism, named after a novel about a nobleman who spent his time in bed living off the income of his family estate, having no motivation to work, no need to work, as he would still be taken care of. Why bother to do anything when he didn’t have to?  This attitude was prevalent in the Soviet years as people figured they would get paid anyway whether they worked or not. Have epigenetics turned on such a gene in the Russian psyche? [xxxvi]

When Yasik tried to sign off of unfinished homework or academic struggles with “I’m lazy” was he leaning on a cultural attitude picked up in his early years or was this an attempt at a more normal defense against the embarrassment of having to acknowledge a disability?

But now let me get serious. I came across an article titled, “The Paradox of Adoption”. People into the more mature years, generally well educated and situated at least in the middle-income bracket, are the most common definition of adoptors in the West. They are well equipped, and believe strongly in education and willingly provide all they can to give their adopted child the best advantages possible. And here is the paradox. These are the children most often struggling in school. The article offers the following: “Possible reasons why family resources do not always produce great outcomes may be found in attachment theory, traumatic stress theory, and behavior genetics”.[xxxvii] Maybe. But I think we need to be careful of making any of these ‘other conditions’ the only go-to.

Deborah Gray, whom I continually refer to offers these suggestions.

The child, usually after a stressful start to life, enters a new world no longer referenced by the first culture, with a new language. As she says: “Children are not able to exert control over their lives through language, which frustrates and confuses them … the meaning of things changes”[xxxviii] even though they will likely continue referencing some meaning in the new language from the culture and language they still know best. 

Myths that have built up around children and learning.

Yasik does remember mixing up his ‘d’s and ‘b’s early on. For those of us who knew little about learning disabilities the ‘d/b/p’ mix-up was a simple enough explanation to satisfy us. And for that mix-up all we needed to do was find this slide-like device that isolated letters on the page for our child to be able to move ahead in reading.

Enter the next ‘however’. Apparently… letter reversal is quite common in the early stages of reading – for any child. Is that all it was for Yasik?  I actually have problems mixing the ‘d/b/p’ as well at times – tired eyes, menopause?

Sally and Jonathan Shaywitz tell us “there is no evidence that they actually ‘see’ letters and words backward. But naming the words was difficult – kids write ‘was’ but say ‘saw’ … The problem is a linguistic one, not a visual one….”

They also brush off the possibility of mirror writing, writing backward and reversing letters and words. Apparently…this also happens in dyslexic and non-dyslexia children. [xxxix]

In response to Phil Hanley’s explanation for his hopelessness in sports: “I was the skinniest kid with the least skills. Dyslexia affects hand-eye coordination and depth perception, two things needed in any athletic endeavor,[xl]  the Shaywitz family say that while clumsiness, left-handedness, difficulties with right-left orientation, and trouble tying shoelaces may be “side symptoms” for some dyslexic people, they are not “core” aspects of dyslexia.  They may be elements of Dyspraxia though.

So many people have a right-left orientation frustration that store clerks are told to help hapless customers when necessary. I certainly have a problem with this in two languages. But alas I can no longer call it my dyslexia.

Not only is Dyslexia inclusive, sharing some side issues with non-dyslexic people, it is also politically correct for though it has long been thought that more males have dyslexia, it turns out that maybe the females were simply quieter about their struggle with reading.[xli]

And in response to the idea that our brains process writing differently based on the different ways languages are written: a child struggled with dismal inability to read in English in his American school. The family moved to Japan when the child was a teen. In Japanese the teen was very successful at reading. The different ways languages are written was the explanation. Nonetheless there remains some mystery to the teen’s success for the Shaywitz say it is a myth that dyslexia occurs only in a few countries.[xlii]

And what of all the programs that promise to lift a child out of a learning disability tar pit?

The Davis program does acknowledge “difficulty with words” but with a big ‘however’, waxes eloquent about the power of creative dyslexics if they only employ their ‘mind’s eye’ to see the pictures in their minds rather than words.[xliii]

Grok’s evaluation is to say the program relies on anecdotal support rather than data to back up the hope offered by the Davis program.

Grok does support the Orton Gillingham program.

Footnotes

[i] Shields, David. reality hunger: a manifesto   Alfred A. Knoph, 2010, 65

[ii] Fischer, Naomi  A Different Way To Learn: neurodiversity and self-directed education   Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2023, 21

[iii] Nerenberg, Jenara Divergent mind: thriving in a world that wasn’t designed for you   HarperOne, 2021, 5

[iv] Grinker, Roy. Nobody’s Normal: How Culture Created the Stigma of Mental Illness, WW Norton, 2021

[v] Forbes, Samuel, Prema Aneja  “Why there’s no such thing as normal in child development” December 23, 2024 https://theconversation.com/why-theres-no-such-thing-as-normal-in-child-development-244681

[vi] https://readinguniverse.org/article/explore-teaching-topics/features-of-structured-literacy-instruction/different-learning-disabilities-in-reading#:~:text=Problems%20with%20phonological%20skills%2C%20such,impact%20of%20poor%20word%20recognition

[vii] Walker, Nick, PhD NEURODIVERSITY: SOME BASIC TERMS & DEFINITIONS https://neuroqueer.com/neurodiversity-terms-and-definitions/, 2014

[viii] Fischer, Naomi.  Changing Our Minds; how children can take control of their own learning   Robinson, 2021, 134-135

[ix] Shaywitz, Sally, M.D. and Jonathan Shaywitz, M.D.   Overcoming Dyslexia, 2nd ed. Alfred A Knopf, 2020, 94

Eide, Brock, M.D., and Fernette Eide, M.D.  The Mislabeled Child: how understanding your child’s unique learning style can open the door to success   Balance, 2006, 149-152

Hall, Susan L., & Louisa C. Moats, Ed.D.   Parenting a Struggling Reader: a guide to diagnosing and finding help for your child’s reading difficulties    Harmony, 2002, 83, 84

Nicolson, Roderick and Angela J. Fawcett   Dyslexia, Learning and the Brain    MIT Press, 2010, 221-222

[x] Hanley, Phil. Spellbound:  my life as a dyslexic wordsmith   Henry Holt and Company, 2025, 49, 131, 165

[xi] Kivirähk-Koor, Triin, Kiive, Evelyn   “Differences in Cognitive and Mathematical Skills of Students with a Mathematical Learning Disability and Those with Low Achievement in Mathematics: A Systematic Literature Review” Education Sciences; Basel Vol. 15, Iss. 3,  (2025): 361. DOI:10.3390/educsci15030361

[xii] https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/specific-learning-disorder/what-is-specific-learning-disorder

[xiii] Dennis, MaureenSpiegler, Brenda JSimic, NevenaSinopoli, Katia JWilkinson, Amy; et al. “Functional Plasticity in Childhood Brain Disorders: When, What, How, and Whom to Assess”   Neuropsychology Review; New York Vol. 24, Iss. 4,  (Dec 2014): 389-408. DOI:10.1007/s11065-014-9261-x

[xiv] https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/specific-learning-disorder/what-is-specific-learning-disorder

[xv] Kivirähk-Koor, Triin, Kiive, Evelyn   “Differences in Cognitive and Mathematical Skills of Students with a Mathematical Learning Disability and Those with Low Achievement in Mathematics: A Systematic Literature Review” Education Sciences; Basel Vol. 15, Iss. 3,  (2025): 361. DOI:10.3390/educsci15030361

[xvi] https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/specific-learning-disorder/what-is-specific-learning-disorder

[xvii] https://readinguniverse.org/article/explore-teaching-topics/features-of-structured-literacy-instruction/different-learning-disabilities-in-reading#:~:text=Problems%20with%20phonological%20skills%2C%20such,impact%20of%20poor%20word%20recognition.

[xviii] https://readinguniverse.org/article/explore-teaching-topics/features-of-structured-literacy-instruction/different-learning-disabilities-in-reading#:~:text=Problems%20with%20phonological%20skills%2C%20such,impact%20of%20poor%20word%20recognition.

[xix] Adlof, Suzanne MHogan, Tiffany P.  Understanding Dyslexia in the Context of Developmental Language Disorders Language, Speech & Hearing Services in Schools (Online); Washington Vol. 49, Iss. 4,  (Oct 2018): 762-773. DOI:10.1044/2018_LSHSS-DYSLC-18-0049

[xx] Shaywitz, Sally, M.D. and Jonathan Shaywitz, M.D.   Overcoming Dyslexia, 2nd ed. Alfred A Knopf, 2020, (I have arranged these references numerically and suggest that all are valuable reading) 4, 27, 33-34, 39, 40, 41, 50, 65, 93-94, 96-98, 112-116, 130-138, 158, 159

[xxi] Hanley, Phil. Spellbound: my life as a dyslexic wordsmith   Henry Holt and Company, 2025, 62, 64, 75, 98, 99, 147

[xxii] Nicolson, Roderick and Angela J. Fawcett   Dyslexia, Learning and the Brain    MIT Press, 2010, 4

https://readinguniverse.org/article/explore-teaching-topics/features-of-structured-literacy-instruction/different-learning-disabilities-in-reading#:~:text=Problems%20with%20phonological%20skills%2C%20such,impact%20of%20poor%20word%20recognition.

Saltz, Gail   The Power of Different: the link between disorder and genius   Flatiron Books, 2017, 24, 25, 28-29, 30,  92-93

Hall, Susan L., & Louisa C. Moats, Ed.D.   Parenting a Struggling Reader: a guide to diagnosing and finding help for your child’s reading difficulties    Harmony, 2002, 87-88, 91

Adlof, Suzanne MHogan, Tiffany P.  Understanding Dyslexia in the Context of Developmental Language Disorders Language, Speech & Hearing Services in Schools (Online); Washington Vol. 49, Iss. 4,  (Oct 2018): 762-773. DOI:10.1044/2018_LSHSS-DYSLC-18-004

Agbonlahor, Winnie.  “44 years to find out that I had dyslexia’: More than 100,000 people in Notts suffer from dyslexia”. Nottingham Evening Post; Nottingham (UK) 14 Feb 2013: 23.

Schumacher, Johannes, Per Hoffmann, Christine Schmäl, Gerd Schulte‐Körne, Markus M Nöthen  Genetics of dyslexia: the evolving landscape  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2597981/#:~:text=A%20child%20with%20an%20affected,family%20members%20are%20also%20affected.&text=There%20is%20an%20estimated%203,when%20strict%20criteria%20are%20applied. PMCID: PMC2597981  PMID: 17307837

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/specific-learning-disorder/what-is-specific-learning-disorder

Schwartz, M.D. and Sharon Begley    The Mind & the Brain: neuroplasticity and the power of mental force    Harper Collins Publishers 2002, 217, 226, 229, 236

Gobbo, Ken.  “Dyslexia and Creativity: The Education and Work of Robert Rauschenberg”    Landmark College Vol. 30 No. 3/4 (2010): Disability and/in Time || General Issue /

Hall, Susan L., & Louisa C. Moats, Ed.D.   Parenting a Struggling Reader: a guide to diagnosing and finding help for your child’s reading difficulties    Harmony, 2002, 92-94

[xxiii] Rappaport, Lisa, PhD & Jody Lyons, Med   Parenting Dyslexia: a comprehensive guide to helping kids combat shame, build confidence, and achieve their true potential   balance, 2025, 6

[xxiv] Fischer, Naomi.  Changing Our Minds; how children can take control of their own learning   Robinson, 2021, 205-206

Dennis, MaureenSpiegler, Brenda JSimic, NevenaSinopoli, Katia JWilkinson, Amy; et al. “Functional Plasticity in Childhood Brain Disorders: When, What, How, and Whom to Assess” Neuropsychology Review; New York Vol. 24, Iss. 4,  (Dec 2014): 389-408. DOI:10.1007/s11065-014-9261-x

Shaywitz, Sally, M.D. and Jonathan Shaywitz, M.D.   Overcoming Dyslexia, 2nd ed. Alfred A Knopf, 2020, 54

Bosco-Ruggiero, Stephanie, MA, Gloria Russo Wassell, MS, LMHC, and Victor Groza, PhD   adopting older children: a practical guide to adopting and parenting children over age four   New Horizon Press, 2014, 181

Armstrong, Thomas, PhD    The Power of Diversity: unleashing the advantages of your neurodivergent brain, 2nd ed.   balance, 2025, 56

[xxv] Grandin, Temple   Visual Thinking: the hidden gifts of people who think in pictures, patterns, and abstractions   Riverhead Books, 2022, 170

[xxvi] Mathias, Vicki.   “Study confirms gene is linked to dyslexia: Youngsters in the city have helped researchers confirm that there is a gene associated with dyslexia or other reading problems.”  Evening Post    Bristol (UK). 02 Oct 2008: 68.

[xxvii] Shaywitz, Sally, M.D. and Jonathan Shaywitz, M.D.   Overcoming Dyslexia, 2nd ed. Alfred A Knopf, 2020, 117-119

[xxviii] Mercer, Jean   Thinking Critically About CHILD DEVELOPMENT: examining myths & misunderstandings, third ed.  SAGE, 2016, 155-159

Fischer, Naomi.  Changing Our Minds; how children can take control of their own learning   Robinson, 2021, 114

The Adoptive Parents’ Handbook: a guide to healing trauma and thriving with your foster or adopted child   North Atlantic Books, 2020, 218

[xxix]https://readinguniverse.org/article/explore-teaching-topics/features-of-structured-literacy-instruction/different-learning-disabilities-in reading#:~:text=Problems%20with%20phonological%20skills%2C%20such,impact%20of%20poor%20word%20recognition.

Fischer, Naomi.  Changing Our Minds: how children can take control of their own learning   Robinson, 2021, 88

[xxx] Letourneau, Dr. Nicole with Justin Joschko   Scientific Parenting: what science reveals about parental influence   Dundurn, 2013, 166 – 168

Szalavitz, Maia, Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D.  Born For Love: why empathy is essential-and endangered   William Morrow, 2010, 90, 194-195

[xxxi] Bosco-Ruggiero, Stephanie, MA, Gloria Russo Wassell, MS, LMHC, and Victor Groza, PhD   adopting older children: a practical guide to adopting and parenting children over age four   New Horizon Press, 2014, 177- 179

Saltz, Gail  The Power of Different: the link between disorder and genius Flatiron Books, 2017, 91

Gray, Deborah D.   Attaching in Adoption: practical tools for today’s parents   Perspectives Press, 2002, 123-124

Tantrum, Babara Cummins   The Adoptive Parents’ Handbook: a guide to healing trauma and thriving with your foster or adopted child   North Atlantic Books, 2020, 15

Burke Harris, Nadine, M.D.,  the deepest well: healing the long-term effects of childhood adversity   Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 2018, 61

[xxxii]Lau, Nathan T T & H Moriah Sokolowski    “If you think you are ‘just not a math person’ then think again”   https://psyche.co/ideas/if-you-think-you-are-just-not-a-math-person-then-think-again?utm_source   16 December 2024

[xxxiii] Bosco-Ruggiero, Stephanie, MA, Gloria Russo Wassell, MS, LMHC, and Victor Groza, PhD   adopting older children: a practical guide to adopting and parenting children over age four   New Horizon Press, 2014, 181,182,192

[xxxiv] Seligman, Ph.D. Martin E.  Learned Optimism: how to change your mind and your life.  Vintage Books, 2006, 15

Bosco-Ruggiero, Stephanie, MA, Gloria Russo Wassell, MS, LMHC, and Victor Groza, PhD   adopting older children: a practical guide to adopting and parenting children over age four   New Horizon Press, 2014, 192

[xxxv] Latimore, Ed.  Hard Lessons From The Hurt Business: boxing and the art of life   Portfolio/Penguin, 2025, 72-73

[xxxvi] Lachman, Gary   The Return of Holy Russia: apocalyptic history, mystical awakening, and the struggle for the soul of the world   Inner Traditions, 2020, 24, 29, 210

Wheeler, Sara   Mud and Stars: travels in Russia with Pushkin, Tolstoy, and other geniuses of the Golden Age   Pantheon Books, 2019, 202

Judith’s husband, Oct 2’25

[xxxvii] Zill, Nicholas.  “ The-paradox-of-adoption”  https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-paradox-of-adoption/T

Trauma: The New Explanation for Everything, and a Bad Example https://childmyths.blogspot.com/search?q=Trauma%3A+The+New+Explanation+for+Everything%2C+and+a+Bad+Example+Trauma: The New Explanation for Everything, and a Bad Example

[xxxviii] Gray, Deborah D.   Attaching in Adoption: practical tools for today’s parents   Perspectives Press, 2002, 149, 150, 172, 173

[xxxviii] Shaywitz, Sally, M.D. and Jonathan Shaywitz, M.D.   Overcoming Dyslexia, 2nd ed. Alfred A Knopf, 2020, 117-119

Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, Volume 135, 2022, Article 104593

Dyslexic people make so-called “mirror errors” in reading, for example confusing the letters ‘b’ and ‘d.’ Scientists may have found a cause of dyslexia  Published Wednesday, October 18, 2017

[xl] Hanley, Phil.  Spellbound: my life as a dyslexic wordsmith   Henry Holt and Company, 2025, 110

[xli] Hupp, Stephen and Jeremy Kewell   Great Myths of Child Development (Great Myths of Psychology) Myth #21, Myth #22, Myth #21

[xlii] Hardach, Sophie “Writing in English can be a challenge – even if it’s your mother tongue” https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230302-can-dyslexia-change-in-other-languages March 9, 2023

Shaywitz, Sally, M.D. and Jonathan Shaywitz, M.D.   Overcoming Dyslexia, 2nd ed. Alfred A Knopf, 2020, 39, 119, 120

[xliii] Davis, Ronald D. with Eldon M. Braun  The Gift of Dyslexia: why some of the smartest people can’t read … and how they can learn   Tarcher, 2010

Blyth Hall, Sue   Fish Don’t Climb Trees: a whole new look at dyslexia: understanding and overcoming the challenges-enjoying the gift.   FriesenPress, 2020

Stainsby, Mia   “The Davis Method claims a high rate of success in teaching dyslexics to read”. Southam Newspapers; Vancouver Sun   January 20001 https://www.dyslexia.com/articles/living_with_dyslexia.htmlLiving with Dyslexia

 

Post#15A Learning Disabilities   Who?

Post#15A Learning Disabilities   Who?

Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?[i]

Yasik came into Dave and my life at four and a half from an orphanage in Russia. Within an hour of meeting us, he had discarded fear, showing his parents-to-be full on Yasik, coming with us and the driver and the translator, total strangers, and charming shopkeepers along the way. Twenty-four hours later, while he was submitting to being stripped of a pink T-shirt, tights and scuffed, too small girl’s shoes in the office of the orphanage and then re-dressed in clothing we had brought for him, we were being told he liked to play with cars, to draw, learn poems by heart, watch cartoons and he liked to be read to. They said he was a gifted boy, musical, helpful with others, very good. And I noted he was bright and didn’t look boring at all.

During our first few days with Yasik as we waited for his papers to be processed, I noted that he chattered in Russian, laughing and teasing. We had been told at the orphanage that he wasn’t a talker, so why did he seem a little yakker to us, at the table while Dave made a meal, in Russian far beyond our 10 words? Was it because this little kid now had someone of his very own to listen?

And the unrestrained curiosity about how things work?  It seemed boundless – from switching on lights to every gadget he came across- the TV, a flashlight, a water pistol, and earphones on the airplane with the added wonder of the music filling his little head. He seemed to be more interested in things that really worked than toy cars he had to push or paper airplanes he had to hold and zoom around.

Being confronted with a new country, a new home and surrounded by new people who were pulling him into their lives, why did this happy yakking and curiosity show no signs of restraint?

Nor was there any hesitancy displaying natural charm. When Dave delivered a fatherly warning, Yasik came back with, “Be Happy Poppa”. He would remind me to “Kiss Poppa” as we set out on a bike ride. Watching his first movie, “Men in Black”, he crawled into Dave’s lap, not sure about the size of the creatures.

Do I sound like a proud momma. Wouldn’t you?  He was picture-book beautiful, with soft blond hair, a heart-captivating smile and exuberance about every little daily thing.

One of my favourite pictures of him is lugging a watering can to the flower bed in the back yard. He was all into helping. Another is kicking a soccer ball to his Uncle Ted.  There was no hesitation around chores – at least the fun ones, or playing with any shape of ball.

I wrote: His parents think he is amazing.

A friend brought her kid over to play from time to time. This kid, Jake, was a bit older and bigger. When they first spent time together, Yasik was shy and tried hard to impress Jake who was not impressed with this little kid with a slightly left of center eyeball and little intelligible English. Barely 2 months later, Yasik was not interested in trying to impress. He was confident that he knew how things worked, he was good at ball and bike (though I think he was still supported by training wheels and fearful of having them taken off). He was oblivious – he was just having fun, singing Russian songs while biking, full of happy confidence. When he fell or couldn’t quite handle something he didn’t quit; he tried again until he got it. Or told us that telephone pole was in the way and needed to be moved. He set Jake back on his heels a bit and soon they were partners in fun.

Bit by bit the songs he sang, while biking or in the van or on the couch, began to resemble a mix-mix language, like maybe Russlish. One song sounded like the Zeller’s Dollar Day ditty. Another he said he wrote was about a dinosaur, and must have been a dirge about the death of this dinosaur.

All of this was unrestrained imagination. One free weekend we took the ferry over to Lake Cowichan and while we are driving Dave noticed Yasik reaching out the window and grabbing handfuls of air and putting them in his mouth.  At first shy to say what he was doing, he told Dave, “I can’t eat the sunshine. I am just pretending”.

Another time as I was urging him to brush his teeth, he came back with, “I don’t have to. I have a gun so I can shoot them”. He picked that up from some TV ad promising that their product could shoot down the monsters in kid’s mouths.

This is how we, his parents with love glazed eyes, saw our son.  We must have communicated this quite successfully to the social worker. Her post-adoption reports said, Yasik “is a bright and good thinker. … His parents describe him as “compassionate, mischievous, direct”. He is curious about the world around him and is capable of being very focused and is very observant…[although] he is bossy and tries to get everything right… He likes to figure out how to do everything himself. At the beginning of a new activity, he stands to the side and observes. Once he decides to commit himself, he does it fully.  He can at times dissolve in frustration when he cannot handle something difficult. We have noticed marked improvement in this area lately as he is learning to take a step back and try again to conquer the difficulty. He still tends to let friends take the lead, but from time to time asserts himself. He is quite capable of making independent decisions, despite the choices of his friends”.

It seemed to us that the report recognized Yasik at his core. Or because the report was merely the social worker’s write up of her interviews with Dave and I, we recognized Yasik at his core. But somewhere along the way between grade 1 and grade 2 that core was being tampered with as I will look at in the How post. That effect of that tampering shaved away at this core. Or forced it down deep in his being to somewhere he became steadily more and more reluctant to bring back out into the sunshine.

This change began with Dave and I and then settled into a constant with each year Yasik was in school.

Sally Shaywitz believes “that behind the success of every disabled child is a passionately committed, intensely engaged, and totally empowered parent”.[ii]  As I have brought forward in earlier posts, I can’t confidently say we were up to any of those adverbs fronting such fierce adjectives.

We slipped immediately into the parenting roles we understood: providing a routine with regular eating and sleeping hours, school and play: tree forts, soccer, computer games and cartoons. We wasted little time getting on him for letters and numbers and getting him into piano lessons with short practice sessions at home. We watched videos together on the weekends and read each night, some for school and always as a bedtime routine.

He’d been in kindergarten only a month when we read a book with him called Bump, Bump, Bump; for us, bedtime reading was as much about helping Yasik learn to read as it was about easing him into sleepiness. I don’t remember what this book was about but likely it said very little more than ‘bump, bump, bump’. Our plan was for Yasik to repeat the words after us.  He only wiggled and listened but wouldn’t read. Instead he asked for ‘confety’ (Russlish for candy?).  We bargained, “OK, if you read with us”. And just like that we were bargaining, some might say bribing in exchange for reading. And what do you expect? It worked, so far so good.

Parents are not always quick to see that their child’s experience is slipping toward problematic for it happens often gradually and mixed in with all the gloriously normal parts of a day.[iii]

And Elizabeth Guthrie suggests that maybe that is a good thing, “probably the gift [parents give] was not being around enough what with work etc. to interfere more”.  Besides which, “It is hard to gauge what is “normal” and what is less than normal within the confines of home and family life[iv]. Convenient too, considering the demands of our daily life.

We thought we saw improvement in his printing, reading and piano. He even did some practice on his own and he seemed to like getting the music together, showing an interest in hearing and creating his own sounds and putting words into the songs sometimes.

There was a time Yasik and I were reading; at one point while he was reading, he looked up at me and gave me the most brilliantly sweet smile I have ever seen. It made me blink. Something about reading made him happy.

As many reading advice books suggest, children are most likely to be lured into reading when it offers them something they want to know. Yasik’s first ‘real’ reading was with the TV Guide. He was checking times for a movie called After the Silence and there really was one that came out in 1996 about a deaf and illiterate woman. He found the title, sounding it out and showing evident happiness with his success.

We, his parents who engaged with him for all the hours outside the five week-day hours at school, were not seeing any reason to be concerned about his progress in reading. And as Kelly Fradin says, “we also have a deep need for our children to be all right. … Sometimes it’s much easier to bury our heads in the sand and deny that there is a problem”[v]. I actually wrote at one point that life works better for me if it’s more black and white.

After all, we were doing what decent, loving parents do: provide as best they can for the physical, mental, emotional well-being of their children. The little school down by the community playground said we needed to sign Yasik up for school three weeks after he arrived in Canada as our son. We signed him up and lock stepped with all the neighbourhood parents in walking him to school each morning and picking him up afterward, armed with more homework than most of the kids in his classroom.

The change was gradual but with each passing year we were seeing that curious little charmer become weighted by something he certainly didn’t like or understand. And so the time came when we had to begin to recognize we too didn’t like what was happening nor did we understand it.  As Naomi Fisher says, we were caught between Yasik’s unhappiness and our school system’s expectations for it was “the only answer[vi], yet we slid into this struggle because ultimately we agreed with the school that it was ‘for the best’ even though both Dave and I had also experienced some level of difficulty navigating grade one. And now I wonder, best for whom, the school system, expectations we place on ourselves, or expectations of those around us?

But yes this is a question I temper with the ‘essential paradoxes’[vii] of life in our times.

From that first attempt to bargain with us for ‘confety’ to more and more frustrating tug-of-war engagements alternating between bribes and threats, we felt we are working in the dark, looking for a break through. Yasik, in turn alternating between snarky and sweet, needed our support, not our push, but we fervently believed he also needed to read. We tried competitions, made up stories, found games on the computer. I kept pushing piano practice to develop the love of music the orphanage staff had encouraged. Was it developing a love of piano?

One morning I was sitting with Yasik, pushing him to put in his 15 minutes of pre-school practice. He made some mistake playing Sweetly Sings The Donkey, and ended up pounding the keys, yelling “Stupid, Stupid, Stupid”. I wondered if that was the usual route to great music.

In our defense we weren’t all about expectation and push. We tried most of the ways we heard about to help. We considered enrolling him in a Waldorf school about an hour’s drive each morning and each afternoon. Yasik was on board because it offered learning through play. Dave took an intense Orten Gillingham training course to tutor Yasik. Dave spent 4-5 hours the night before each class prepping the lesson with games, exercises, rule-teaching cartoons to offer a lesson as multisensory as possible. Being the only male and the only non-teacher in the group there were times he felt so defeated that he cried all the way home. The silver lining perhaps was that it left him, not with a teaching certificate, but more sensitive to Yasik’s struggle. And most importantly Dave could tell Yasik with sincerity that the problem wasn’t his, but the tutor’s, if Yasik wasn’t getting it.

Dave helped Yasik finish a gingerbread house he didn’t finish for cooking class because a food fight ensued.  Together they set up an internet site to try their hand at a business having something to do with paintball online. I tried to brush up on Algebra 9 to help Yasik work through it.

Joan Didion’s wry comment on parents helping with homework: “I said my own efforts to help Quintana with her homework- which were extensive- were probably in retrospect too based on taking it over, showing her how to do it rather than prompting her to discover herself how to do it”[viii].

Dave and I even resorted to prayer, lying in bed asking God to help us get an effective tutor, or maybe at that time any tutor. Pascal’s wager…

Nonetheless, slowly and steadily we were letting go: cancelled piano, didn’t sign up for soccer, actually switched to golf for the three of us. It worked for a bit. Paintball was a strong draw for a while too. One semester in the self-paced school he went to for grades 8 and 9, he tried to keep his report card from us, a report card that revealed some serious incompletes. We pulled a coming paintball tournament out of our dwindling arsenal of threats. He got right at working on some of the lesson packages. I noted at the time (optimistically?) ‘so with threats and bribes we limp along to maturity’. Elizabeth Guthrie would not agree, saying, “Reward effort, not results. Don’t punish poor marks”[ix].  

As a student with learning challenges struggling against parents who believed nothing, and I mean nothing, was more important than a solid education, fighting about doing homework was a nightly ritual by now.   Yasik probably had more homework than most students, certainly more than he ever wanted.

One night stood out. It started out as just another night with a flare up over getting homework done.  Of course there was more than just the tired, after work, homework conflict at stake.   We were in the midst of another threat of flooding. TV weather reports had us uptight about the North Allouette pouring down the road instead of flowing sensibly under the too narrow bridge at 224 St. and 232nd Ave.  If Yasik was angry, we were tense too; none of our tempers would have been at Calm on the emotional dial.

My journal entry of the night does not detail the fight we engaged in but does note that Yasik was arguing to go paintballing or skiing and we are countering with a negotiation of homework first.  The fight escalated. Yasik, who deeply, though sometimes selectively believed (you might read ‘stubbornly’ here) in justice, wasn’t giving in.  He left the house.  Did he grab a coat? Did he slam the cheaply made front door? The journal doesn’t say, but it is likely on that cold, wet night threatening a flood, he was jacketless. Going outside into a night that did not warmly embrace his anger probably gave him a slow down as well because apparently he went only as far as the front patio.  A probation officer once noted that most runaways opt for warm summer nights.

The first time your kid does that, you stop a moment.

Dave clicked in first, pulling a jacket on and going out after him, thinking Yasik was running off somewhere more in line with a great teen drama of fiction than merely hiding out under the eaves.  I guess when it is your first move into rebellion you don’t always work out a detailed plan.  Yasik let his dad go off on a goose chase, slipping back in the house while Dave was out blindly checking up and down a rainy street boasting one lone streetlight on the corner.

Those of you who have a Bible-infused background may remember the verse in the gospel of Luke (my version) that goes, “Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart” referring to the unusual activities of her firstborn, Jesus. This was the piece of the evening I continued to ponder in my heart for a long time after: when Yasik came back into the house it was not with more fighting or cold slamming of doors. Instead Yasik came into our bedroom; I reached out to him and held him.  While we stood there mute, me crying and shaken, Yasik said, “I always wanted to do that.”  Whaaat?

We took Yasik out for dinner when he turned 21. We were hoping it would be an opportunity to seduce him into going back to school. He went direct on us, letting us know that he was his own boss, “Now I don’t have to learn anything anymore.”

 

[i] Google: Charles Bukowski Quotes. Charles Bukowski: A Little Book of Essential Quotes on… Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

[ii] Shaywitz, Sally, M.D. and Jonathan Shaywitz, M.D.   Overcoming Dyslexia, 2nd ed. Alfred A Knopf, 2020, 9

[iii] Fradin, Kelly, MD Advanced Parenting: advice for helping kids through diagnoses, differences, and mental health challenges Hachette Book Group, 2023 13, 14, 15

[iv] Guthrie, Elizabeth M.D. and Kathy Matthews     The Trouble with Perfect: how parents can avoid the over-achievement trap and still raise successful children   Harmony, 2002, 192

[v] Fradin, Kelly, MD Advanced Parenting: advice for helping kids through diagnoses, differences, and mental health challenges Hachette Book Group, 2023, 13, 14, 15

[vi] Fisher, Naomi   A Different Way to Learn: neurodiversity and self-directed education   Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2023, 36

[vii] Nafisi, Azar.  Reading Lolita in Tehran: a memoir in reading   Random House, 2003, 86

[viii] Didion, Joan  Notes To John   Alfred A. Knopf, 2025, 134

[ix] Guthrie, Elizabeth M.D. and Kathy Matthews     The Trouble with Perfect: how parents can avoid the over-achievement trap and still raise successful children   Harmony, 2002, 180

 

 

Post#15 Learning Disabilities Introduction

Post #15 Learning Disabilities Introduction

It was the end of a school day for all three of us. Absent-mindedly I turned to Yasik merely to check off my ‘to-do’ list the perfunctory question asked by mothers around the world, whether they are up to any helpful follow-up or not. “How was school today?”

“Mom, you know how I am not perfect.”

A comeback like that jerks a parent into the moment. It hurt. Wanting to comfort, I whipped out an emotional band-aid I hoped sound unequivocal.

“No. Yasik you are perfect in every way that counts.”, which I ended with a lame, “Everyone has struggles.”   I listed his good points all of which were absolutely true but he countered anything positive I could conjure, focused on telling me of only one actual instance when he answered a question in class and was right. “Mostly,” he said, “I let others do it because I don’t know how”.

At bedtime Dave picked up my attempt at comfort with yet another band-aid.

But of course, Yasik, 12 years old at the time, was, by then, well passed the reassurance a band-aid offers a child with a boo-boo. By now we three knew on some concrete level that the wound was deep in each of our hearts, but it ran most deep in Yasik’s heart.  He told Dave that evening that he wanted the teacher to let him go out of the classroom for extra help because he knew being adopted from a foreign country, he was different and because reading was hard for him, he was behind the other kids in the classroom.

This wound had been making itself plain, roller coaster fashion, in almost daily assaults since grade 1.  One day the roller coaster chugged upward.  Yasik was confident of his understanding of time and numbers, asking for a minute to play before getting ready for bed. I said, “A minute is 60 seconds.” In true Yasik distain, he came back with “Nobody can count that far.”

Another day the roller coaster plunged. After school in grade two, Dave was helping Yasik prepare for a spelling test.  Yasik managed to get several words firmed up and was beaming with his success. Dave was happy too, yet added a fatherly sermon-in-a-minute, intoning as good pastors do, “You are learning these words so you can read them and write them and go on to more and more spelling. It never stops.” Yasik dropped his head to the kitchen table and wailed.

Up went the roller coaster again as Yasik played so well his soccer team carried him over their heads off the rain-soaked field. His athletic skill had given them the first game of the season. Down went the roller coaster when I got sharp with Yasik one Monday morning as I tried to push him to do 15 minutes of piano practice, eat, dress, and practice spelling before the dash to school. I demanded he go through the words one more time. He struggled to comply, looking so lost, thankfully, it halted me. I called him to me, held him, fighting tears and we went over the words together this time. He laid against me, not holding back at all – and spelled them all well.

How does a child get the message that he is not perfect? Or our neighbour girl, a young girl whom we first met as she stood on the deck of their home belting out a song in pure joy? How does she get the message in grade 5 that she is the “class problem”?

 

I’m not harried these days; I have the time now. I want to come to some understanding of the ‘what’, ‘how’, ‘why’ and definitely the ‘so what’ of Learning Disabilities or ‘LD’.  I will start with the ‘who’ because beyond the basic questions about LD, which can’t be left out of the equation, I have a more specific investment in seeking understanding. I want to understand my son’s experience, making my study very specifically a ‘sample of one’ study.

It is a study of his experience of abandonment, hospitalization and orphanage or institutional care.  How are these experiences entwined with LDs?  Context matters[i].

And since adoption into our family? Pretty much from the fall Yasik entered grade one, the label, LD, has been part of our family’s identity though for most of our active, growing family and working years, it dragged along with us like some long-suffering, ghostly apparition needing to get our attention before it could slip off to the ‘other side’. Now I turn to it, giving it the attention it has been clamoring for.

I am allowing it to show me some perspectives. I am not providing an advice column though.

Time and again in the reading I have done to prepare this post, I have come across these caveats: “While no consensus has been reached…”, “Research does not support…”, “The definition of “learning disability” (LD) varies according to the source…”, “Sometimes there’s a temptation to oversell conclusions, …”[ii]

Kinda’ puts you in mind of the six blind men of Indostan, doesn’t it?

A further reason to avoid offering remedial advice comes from articles that question the studies like one popular for a time that suggested there was a specific dyslexia gene, or dyslexia is simply a twisting of letters like ‘d’ and ‘b’, or data supporting programs which offer a way out of a learning disability, often accompanied by a hefty fee and ironically not seeing the oxymoron in ‘the science is settled’. Too often, these programs keep a back door open for themselves by suggesting if the program doesn’t work, the child is simply not trying hard enough or the parents have gotten in the way.[iii]

And let me add: There is no virtue signaling here. Yesterday, the young girl two doors up told me of her struggles with reading. I was all ears as this is just what my study is about. I asked her how she coped. She came back with, “Do you want the right answer or the honest answer?”  I laughed but was also amazed that someone so young had thought through this problem to this extent.  She said, “Honestly I just shove it to the back of my head… until it pops.”

When I tried to encouraged her by telling her that she was also amazingly artistic and creative, she replied in a fair degree of frustration, “I don’t want to be just creative. I just want to be able to do everything”. And I, who have read a fair bit and thought through the ideas presented, could find nothing to say that would have moved her to hope.

Footnotes

[i] Forbes, Samuel, Prema Aneja  “Why there’s no such thing as normal in child development” December 23, 2024  https://theconversation.com/why-theres-no-such-thing-as-normal-in-child-development-244681

[ii] Hall, Susan L., & Lousia C. Moats, Ed.D.    Parenting a Struggling Reader: a guide to diagnosing and finding help for your child’s reading difficulties   Harmony, 2002, 84

Forbes, Samuel, Prema Aneja.  “Why there’s no such thing as normal in child development.”  December, 23, 2024  https://theconversation.com/why-theres-no-such-thing-as-normal-in-child-development-244681

Burnett, Dean   The Idiot Brain: a neuroscientist explains what your head is really up to   HarperCollins Publishers, Ltd. 2016, 114

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Mathias, Vicki.   “Study confirms gene is linked to dyslexia: Youngsters in the city have helped researchers confirm that there is a gene associated with dyslexia or other reading problems.”  Evening Post    Bristol (UK). 02 Oct 2008: 68.  

Shaywitz, Sally, M.D. and Jonthan Shaywitz, M.D. Overcoming Dyslexia, 2nd ed.  Alfred A. Knoph, 2020, 117, 118