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I In our pre-adoption assessment interviews, I asked the social worker contracted to assess our preparedness for adoption if I should stop taking birth control pills. That she jumped on the question with a fair degree of horror in her voice has stayed with me. “Absolutely not!” or words to that effect. “This child is…

Defining Authoritative Parenting Your mission, if you choose to accept, is to underline the following characteristics you identify in the narrative. Δ   Warm/ High Responsiveness/Nurturing Supportive, in a secure environment, openly affectionate, with a hands-on approach, valuing open and frequent communication in an egalitarian partnership. Discussing decisions, listening and taking into consideration the children’s thoughts,…

This is the parenting style we are encouraged to strive after as parents. Why is it then, to actually affirm that as parents we are golden parents feels a bit uncomfortable, not quite politically correct or sufficiently self-deprecating? At least so it feels to me. Added to which, the preceding posts reveal, via example after…

Your mission, if you choose to accept, is to underline the following characteristics you identify in Depicting Permissive Parenting Style. Δ   High Responsiveness: warm, loving, non-controlling, accepting, relaxed, indulgent, affirmative, involved, but not in a traditional way.   In carrying out their responsibility for their children, these parents are more likely to treat their children as…

I was still trying to sleep at 7:30 am, the retiree’s right, I believe.  Brodie, our Rottie/Shepard-cross hadn’t read the policy which lays that point out quite clearly. He’d heard potentially exciting noises coming from the trail across the street.  Not really aware that going out the backdoor doesn’t connect him to the front yard, he…

Your mission, if you choose to accept, is to underline the following characteristics you identify in Depicting Neglectful/Uninvolved Parenting. Δ   Cold/Low Responsiveness/Emotionally Absent/Unsupportive/Unconcerned: Parents are neglectful even when they might provide food, shelter and basic amenities for their children. They show lack of warmth, connectivity and care, interest or attention or affection towards their children,…

This parenting style, it seems to me, is the most difficult to consider.  Some of the definitions online assess the benefits and drawbacks for the parenting styles.  For this one, Neglectful/Uninvolved they state quite baldly, there are no benefits. Riding the sky train to work in ’96, a year before our adoption, I saw a…

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to underline the following characteristics you identify in Depicting Authoritarian Parenting.[i] Δ   Cold: low responsiveness, aloof and distant, affection is given sparingly, if at all; boundaries are maintained between parent and child. Δ      Demanding/Unbending: strict, making non-negotiable rules, not considering the child’s needs or desires,…

I think we managed ‘happy families’ (check with the Brits on that one) until we signed Yasik up for school – roughly 3 weeks.  The journal says Week 3 was ‘one heavy duty week’. Yasik was, in parenting jargon, ‘testing boundaries’ in ways I have read are not unusual for institutionalized adoptees, or, for that…

Most parents start out with a child with no words. We started out with a child whose words we couldn’t find in the dictionary, and even if we found them, we couldn’t figure out how to use the dictionary’s definition to our advantage. When we said ‘Nyet’ to Yasik we had little idea what that…